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Setting- friend's pre-wedding camp party
Somehow I mysteriously wake up in my truck at 6am to sounds of zombies attacking the car next to me and an seemingly disembodied AM radio talk show touting the praises of the revolutionary coravin wine opening system. At that point I wasn't too sure what was real or a dream because I had theoretically been asleep for about 3 or 4 hours. I fall back to sleep many times, but I keep hearing the weird racket mere feet from me. When I pry open my eyes the first 3-4 times, I never see the sound's cause. It was about then that I snapped to and became sure it was a chupacabra, so I whipped out the phone and rolled video in my halfass waking state of post party morning confusion. I watched my phone screen from my reclined position to see what it was and for possible needed protection from the legendary goat sucking beast. It turned out to just be a peacock, but it took me forever to see what was actually causing the racket. Looking back on it now, I should have stopped it, but at that point, I was like "what do I know about peacocks?" I couldn't remember anyone warning me on National Geographic not to get in the way of a male peacock fight, but at that point it seemed like a reasonable plan. I wasn't in the best shape to get my ass kicked by that dinosaur cousin bird, so I sat back and rolled footage. Afterall, how much damage could a bird do to a car. After watching the bird walk around threatening his unmovable rival for a while, I decided to get out of the truck in hopes of actually seeing the confrontation that was causing the racket that seeped into my drunken uncomfortable truck sleeping dreams. I really should have stopped it, but who was I to challenge that alpha male on his property & in the heat of a good old stand off. I couldn't possibly feel good about myself if I rocked this young bird's confidence and changed his entire destiny. Would it have effected his mating habits into the future? Well, I didn't want to find out, so I kept rolling in a "cause no disruption" national geographic fashion. But I really should have stopped it.... well..??? insurance should cover this kind of thing right? I was just documenting what would have gone down anyways had I not somehow ended up with a crick in my neck sleeping in my truck hungover, with the unique yet remote ability scare the king off & stop the fight... The damage was extensive & as it turns out.... peacocks can mess up a car. Too bad there wasn't someone, other than the documentary type "fly on the wall guy," there to stop the carnage. Had there only been a hero there to show that raptor who was boss,... One willing to alter the beast's ultimate destiny of squaring off with the trickiest foe of his life,....if only... then the car would have been saved and this video would be one of me catching a person kicking a peacock's ass.... or vice versa..... For all I knew, It could alter the time continuum for those in the future, because maybe, just maybe that peacock wouldn't have the confidence gained from that very day's standoff to save the future grandfather of the 2nd president of The Galactic Union from a fiery crash or something. There were 2 things I knew for sure that foggy morning, 1- that I couldn't run fast at that point, and 2 that it wasn't going to be me getting mauled by a riled up peacock fighting the battle of his life.
-Douglas
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